The Red
by Wild-0ne
Summary: 20yr old Emma stumbles drastically into Harvey Specter's life. The two of them form a delicate Dom/sub relationship in the wake of her tragedy. TRIGGER WARNING: Involves rape, BDSM and heavy sex scenes.
1. Chapter 1

I stopped short of the door and took a deep breath, glancing up at the glowing neon sign above me. The words 'The Red' flickered slightly in the night, and I was surrounded by nothing but darkness and concrete, wet from the persistent rain which had now soaked my hoodie. I could hear the dull thud of bass from behind the solid black door in front of me, and my heart beat heavily to the same rhythm.

 _Jesus, Emma, what are you doing?_

I shook my head slightly, trying to clear it of the voices arguing persistently.

 _Just do it, you want to! Come on…_

Fuck it, curiosity killed the cat. I lifted a nervous hand and pushed on the slick black door. It was much lighter than I expected, and I just saved myself from falling face-first through the doorway.

 _Good one, dick._

The sensible part of my head snarled at me, and I could feel it throwing itself backwards towards the door, which was still open behind me as I steadied myself. I turned and pushed it shut softly, before lifting my head to survey whatever it was I'd just walked into.  
The popular BDSM bar was busy. Everything was black, and dim red lights illuminated a dark mass of people dancing and talking throughout the expansive room.

Upon closer inspection, I realised I was severely underdressed. Every girl I could see was dressed up to impress. Some in shiny leather corsets, fishnet tights and heels so high it was no wonder most of them were sitting down.  
Others were in less extravagant gear, although still in tight black skirts, low-cut shirts, and most of them wore a small black collar too. They sat quietly by themselves, and it was obvious they weren't wanting to go home alone.

The men were as broad a spectrum as their female counterparts. Some of them, too, were dressed from head to toe in leather. These types seemed attracted to the equally leather-clad women, who were obviously used to such lavish attention. They kept their noses lifted, wry smiles on their faces; and the men brought them drinks and adopted a very submissive posture, clamouring for their attention.

Away from these groups hung the other men. In black and white suits, many of them sat by themselves, silently contemplating the room around them. They looked almost out of place, broad-shouldered and commanding, but occasionally one of them would approach the cleavage-baring girls, and they would talk briefly before leaving together.

I was drawn to these men, as I always had been, and I watched each one closely from my safe spot by the door. One man, handsomely dark haired with a salt-and-pepper beard, late fourties, approached one of the gorgeous high-heeled ladies, a blonde. They embraced, before he sat next to her and the two of them talked and laughed like old friends. Both of them held the attention of much of the room, and I guessed they were well-known regulars.

I tucked my hands into my hoodie pockets, and stepped away from the door slightly, looking around me for a possible seat from which I could continue my surveying.  
I was distracted by a man I'd missed in my first glance of the room. Younger than most of the other occupants, mid-twenties? He sat in the corner, sipping slowly on a neat drink and surveying the room with an air of confident indifference. He was wearing a crisp white shirt, a plain navy suit jacket hanging sexily over the top, clinging to his broad shoulders and stretching slightly around his biceps. He had short brown hair, and a strong, clean shaven, angular face framed by a set jaw, as well as dark brown eyes that-

 _FUCK! HE'S LOOKING RIGHT AT ME!_

His piercing gaze looked straight into my soul, and I froze, my jaw dropping open, my heart throwing itself towards the exit. For all my terror, I couldn't look away. I was trapped like a deer in the headlights, mesmerized as his eyes held mine. He scrutinised me calmly, before raising an eyebrow slightly. Probably interested in my choice of attire: a soaked hoodie and jeans. I felt my cheeks flare red at having been caught so blatantly staring, but still I could not move. His eyes held me rooted, and I suddenly had an immense need to approach this man who so demanded my attention. My body shook from undecided direction, and I was panting like a tired dog.  
He rose from his seat lithely, breaking eye contact to place his drink back on the table. I was suddenly released, and decided to split before I got myself in trouble by tampering with a world I was unfamiliar with. My heart pounding, I turned to grab the door handle, slipping outside into the welcome cold air.

 _Yea, good job, Emma._

My sane voice chastised me harshly, and I bowed my head, pulling my hoodie over myself and cutting quickly down a wet alleyway back towards my apartment. I relished the cold, damp air, and the rain once again seeping through my clothes.

 _I fucking told you, what the fuck were you thinking?_

The voice continued, and I breathed heavily to calm myself. With my head ducked against the drizzle, my hands in my pockets, I didn't see the man following me until a pair of hands roughly grabbed the back of my hoodie and threw me sideways against the concrete wall with immense force.

My head made sharp contact with the wet surface, and I made an "umph" sound as force knocked the air out of my lungs.  
Suddenly a body was pressed hard up against me, fists against my back, clenching my hoodie tightly as they held me upright, squishing me against the cold alley wall. I blinked, my head reeling, and tried to focus on my attacker.  
I felt warm breath against my ear.

"You should know that it's not safe to wander around at night. Especially for a pretty little thing like you".

Fear, harsh and sour, rose in the back of my throat and I inhaled sharply. I still couldn't see clearly, and the wetness running down my head was no longer from the rain. It was hot.

 _Fuck, I'm bleeding. A lot._

Before I could focus, one hand released my hoodie and burrowed its way roughly into my jeans. I sobbed loudly, gasping for air. Panic flowed thick and fast through my veins.

 _Scream. SCREAM DAMN IT!_

I could only gasp as the intruding fingers found their destination. Pulling my panties aside roughly, he gave me a quick rub before pushing two fingers inside me. I was terrified and tense, and his administrations hurt.

Blood was now running freely down the side of my face, and I was still struggling to stay conscious as darkness surrounded the edges of my vision.  
Suddenly, the fingers withdrew from my pants, and I had a brief glimmer of hope as he flipped me so my back was against the wet alleyway wall. My eyes managed to focus briefly on a tall blonde figure, before a hand assaulted my cheek. My head snapped sideways, grazing against the rough concrete, and I moaned in pain.

"Ahhh fuck yes"  
He was enjoying my pain.

 _Do something. Do something Emma!_

I lifted my arms and pushed at him weakly.

"No.."

He slapped me again, on the other cheek this time, before punching me hard in the stomach. I groaned as the air left my body once again, and shooting pain made its way up my abdomen. I felt myself starting to lose consciousness.

 _No. NO!_

He punched me again, and I fought weakly to stay awake, but pain was flooding my mind, and all I could see were dim lights in the distance, teasing me with their promise of safety so close.  
He pulled me around, and now I was bent face-first over a large bin. He released me briefly to pull my jeans and panties down to my knees, and I could only sag hopelessly against the metal bin, moaning in pain as my hands fisted on the cold metal.

I gasped helplessly into the cold night air, tears rolling silently down my cheeks, as I felt his cock rub roughly up and down my lips, spreading them.

 _No, God please no…_

He entered me with one harsh shove, and I cried out in pain, my hands scrabbling sharply at the metal bin-top.  
He grabbed a handful of my blonde hair and yanked my head back, earning a strangled cry from me. He grunted in appreciation, and pulled harder, using his other hand to cup my throat. He squeezed tightly, and I shook, clinging to consciousness desperately.

It didn't take him long. He fucked me hard and fast while I sagged limply against the bin, blood still running hotly down the side of my face to match my tears.  
He grunted as he finished, burying himself inside me. I closed my eyes, and disgust joined the cold terror rolling through me.

A sharp smack on my ass made me jump.

"Thanks sweetheart"  
He smirked at me, before pulling out quickly and jerking up his pants. I sank to the ground at his feet, moaning as the movement threw me further over the edge of pain.

 _Come on, Emma. Go get help. Get up._

But it was no use. I heard his footsteps in the puddles fading, and I finally slipped into the beckoning darkness.

…

I woke sharply to the sound of splashing. Someone was approaching me.

 _No, it's him again. Run, Emma. RUN!_

I moved my hands to the cold ground beside me, and pushed as hard as I could. Nothing. I leaned forward, and groaned in regret instantly. Immense pain shot through my stomach, and I threw up violently, all over my jeans.

 _Great. Those were new._

I blinked quickly, willing my eyes to focus. But my head had taken a beating, and I'd lost a lot of blood. I let out a gut wrenching sob of self-pity.

The splashing stopped suddenly, close by, and my breathing hitched.

"No.." I whispered desperately, willing my eyes to focus through the fog of pain.

"Oh fuck…" A man's voice. But not my assaulter's. My nerves were calmed ever so slightly. The bleeding from my head wound had slowed to a trickle, but was still persisting. God knows how much blood I'd lost. I blinked desperately, and my eyes started to focus slightly.

 _Thank God_

My first view in the dark alley was my own legs, covered in vomit and around that a puddle of water. No, blood. It was blood.

 _Shit…_

I let my head roll back against the cold concrete, and tried to re-focus on whoever was standing in front of me. Too much. I moaned, louder this time, and tipped my head to the side just in time to vomit again, this time all down my shoulder.

Whoever had found me now approached, covering the few steps between us quickly. One hand on my upper arm, he gently placed the other under my chin, lifting my head to hold it upright as I gasped for air in between my retches.  
With my head supported, I could now focus my vision a little better. I was looking into brown eyes, the neat eyebrows above them furrowed in concern. My eyes traced sharp cheekbones down to thin lips, which were moving.  
Fuck, he was talking to me. I couldn't hear clearly, like my head was under water.

"I can't…"  
I breathed out the words, before the waves of pain became too much again, and I felt myself start to panic. I couldn't pass out. Not again.

 _Stay awake, Emma. Come on. STAY AWAKE!_

My breaths were harsh and jagged, and my head started to flop again. He had both hands on my face now, cupping my smarting cheeks. He was still talking to me, but I couldn't make out anything.

 _Be clear, Emma. Quickly._

I took a deep breath.

"My head… help" I moaned. I don't know if he could even distinguish it as words, but it was all I had. Blackness started to encroach around the edge of my vision, and I fell forward from my propped-up position. Suddenly I was in strong arms, cupped against a warm body.  
I abruptly realised how cold I was, and I started to shiver violently, my teeth chattering.  
We were moving. But where to, I had no idea. I just hoped that this man was not the same as the last.  
The movement jolted my battered body, and I convulsed one more time, letting out a dry retch, before darkness once again claimed me.


	2. Chapter 2

I was dragged reluctantly into consciousness, my body complaining as my mind pulled itself out of the blissful fog. I dared to open my eyes, and my vision was assaulted by sunlight and a white ceiling. I winced, blinking, and turned my head away from the sharp light.

Too quick. My world rolled about me and nausea shot upwards from deep in my stomach. I took deep breaths, and thankfully managed to hold the contents of my stomach where they should be.

 _Okay, so no moving._

Slowly, I opened my eyes again. Blinking quickly, they adjusted gradually to the light that was pouring in, and I looked around slowly.

I was in a large, clean, black and white room that I didn't recognise. A hotel? No, too personal. There was a large ranch slider to my left, which was the cause of my temporary blindness, and a door was open opposite me, leading to an adjacent room. My eyes were drawn upwards to a large bit of dark wood. I followed it, and came to the realisation that I was in a four poster bed.

 _Wow, fancy._

There was other expensive-looking furniture in the room as well, and I was suddenly bewildered.

 _Where the hell am I?_

A flash of metal caught my eye, and I turned my head ever so slightly to take in the surroundings on my right. There was a metal pole beside the bed, and my eyes followed it upwards to where a medical-looking bag hung from it by a hook. A plastic line fell from the bag, and disappeared under the blankets towards me.

 _An IV? What was wrong with me?_

I could hear voices next door, and I closed my eyes again, listening. I could distinguish two males. One spoke in an annoyed, professional manner.

"… but where do we find that out? She had nothing on her except for a phone, which was locked. No ID or anything…"

"She must have family or friends somewhere. We'll wait till she wakes up and ask her"

"That's if she's not terrified of us…"

 _Terrified? Who were these guys?_

I frowned as I tried to remember how the hell I'd gotten here, but the searing pain in my head wasn't letting me do any thinking. I had to get up, figure out what was going on.

Worried, I pushed myself into an upright position, and immediately regretted it. The room swam around me, and my head throbbed in agony. I cried out, I couldn't help it. My body slumped against the headboard, and I let out a sob of pain, gasping as the room slowly stopped swirling.

The voices stopped, and I heard footsteps moving towards my room.

 _Fuck, they're coming._

Instinctively, I looked around me for a hiding spot, but that brought on another wave of pain and nausea, and I realised that if I wanted to stay conscious I'd have to keep still. I held my breath as two men entered the room. They both stopped a few metres short of the bed, watching me carefully like I was a trapped animal, and I took that few seconds to study them both.

They were young, and looked very similar – brothers?

The first man looked a little older. He had a short, neat beard, and was wearing a shirt, tie and dress pants. The younger man beside him was in an expensive looking black jersey and jeans. Neither of them looked like they'd slept in a while, and after a moment the older man approached me cautiously.

"Hey there. My name's Bradley. I'm a doctor. You took quite a beating, and my brother Harvey called me over to make sure you're alright. How are you feeling?"

His voice was gentle and soothing, and I let out the breath I'd been holding. It took me a while to find my voice.

"I'm… my head. It hurts".

Bradley nodded.

"You're about due some more painkillers. Do you mind?" He gestured to my right, and I looked over to see some medical supplies laid out on the bedside table.

 _They could be giving you anything!_

The voice in my head was guarded, warning me.

 _But I'm in so much pain…_

While my inner voice snarled, I looked back at him and nodded slightly.

He looked relieved at my response, and made his way around to sit on a chair at my side. While he was busy, I looked back to the second man.

His brother, I knew it. They were so alike. He approached me slowly, and sat carefully on the end of the bed. I flinched as the mattress bent under me, but met his gaze steadily.

"I'm Harvey Specter" he started carefully.

"I found you last night in the alley, and brought you back here to my place to make sure you were alright".

He watched me closely, as if expecting a reaction.

 _An alley? What happened to me last night?_

I tried to recall my memory, but the fog of pain was impenetrable. I could only blink back stupidly.

Realisation dawned on his face, and he frowned, looking over to his brother.

Bradley was inserting a needle into my IV tube.

"There you go. That should help the pain" he said soothingly. He met his brother's eye, and shook his head ever so slightly.

 _What were they hiding from me?_

"What..."

Suddenly a wave of warm drowsiness rolled through me, and I groaned as my muscles could finally stop bracing against the agony in my head and abdomen.

Bradley smiled as I visibly relaxed before him.

"Better?"

"Mmm…" I nodded slowly, struggling to keep my eyes open. The bed felt so comfortable…

Harvey smiled too.

"Sleep now, you need it". They both stood up.

 _What? No... Don't leave me…_

"Wait… what… what happened…" I mumbled, but they ignored me.

As they left the room, the warm darkness embraced me once again.

…

This time I recognized the room as I groggily opened my eyes. The pain in my body was bearable now, and I looked around me once again.

The light coming in through the ranch slider was pink with evening shadows, and I could make out the skyline of Manhattan beneath the setting sun.

I realised Harvey was sitting to my right, in the chair his brother had previously occupied. He leant on his elbows on the bed, his hands clasped in front of him. He too was watching the sunset, his handsome face creased with worry, and he hadn't noticed that I was awake.

"Um… hi" he looked at me as I creaked out the words, and smiled softly.

"Hey, sleepy head. How are you feeling now?"

I took a mental record of the pain in my body. Head? Tolerable. Stomach? Nothing I couldn't handle. But there was something else too. A dull throbbing between my legs. Down _there._

 _What the fuck had happened to me?!_

Suddenly spooked, I pushed myself up into a sitting position, scrabbling slightly against the duvet beneath me. Harvey sat up too, and placed a hand on my upper arm to steady me.

"Hey hey, careful." He warned gently. But I wouldn't be consoled.

"What happened to me?" I asked, trying to sound calm while my heart pounded.

Harvey looked down briefly, and then out at the sunset again. He appeared to be bracing himself. I frowned.

"Hey! Tell me!" I yelled at him, my voice cracking and panic flooding my veins.

He was undaunted by my raised voice, and turned to meet my gaze evenly. There was sympathy in his expression.

"You… you were out last night. I saw you in The Red. When you ran I got worried about you, and so I decided to find you and make sure you got home safely. You were down the sixth street alley and…"

He broke off, struggling to get the words out, but he didn't need to.

A mixture or emotions coursed through me: Fear, anger, pain, embarrassment…

My world spun and I realised I was gasping like I'd been under water.

Harvey watched as memories of last night came back to me, each one a harsh and cold slap to the face. Tears started to roll down my face as I sat frozen, losing myself in the sensations of memory. The cold rain, the rough alley wall, the hot blood, the man…

My heart went into overdrive, and I started hyperventilating. Desperately, I looked to Harvey for help as my throat started closing and my vision went blurry.

 _A panic attack…_

Suddenly Harvey was moving. He pushed a syringe into my IV tube and expended it slowly, watching me carefully for a reaction. I looked back at him like a deer in headlights as a warm emptiness overtook me. My tears stopped flowing, and my breathing slowed as a fog filled up my head. I felt like a zombie as he placed his hand on my upper arm.

"I'm so, so sorry. I should have gone after you sooner. I should have…"

He trailed off, looking down again as he realised his words were of no comfort. But I didn't need comfort. Whatever he'd given me had worked.

I was fine.

"I'm fine" I said in monotone, staring blankly at him.

The look on his face said he didn't believe me, and he opened his mouth, before deciding there was nothing to be said. We both looked out at the orange glow over the city again.

"You hungry?" he asked quietly, as if worried that I'd break at any second.

I smiled.

"Starving".

…

The rest of the apartment was much the same as the bedroom, I realised as I sat nibbling on some lasagne. Crisp, black and white furniture decorated the spacious, open plan apartment, which had extensive views over the city centre.

Harvey handed me a cup of coffee, before sitting down next to me at the island bench.

"Where's your brother?" I asked, avoiding any topic that would lead to what had happened last night.

He knew what I was doing, but he wasn't going to press me.

"Brad's at work. He's a doctor at Princeton Hospital"

I nodded, taking a sip of my coffee. It was warm and smooth down my throat, and I closed my eyes, enjoying it. When I opened them, Harvey was watching me closely.

"What?" I asked, feeling self-conscious.

He sighed.

"Emma, you should… you need to talk abo-"

"No". I cut him off abruptly. His face fell slightly, and I felt bad.

"I know I should, and I will. But not now. Please".

The last word came out as a plead of desperation. He frowned at me, but let it drop, taking a bite out of his meal. We sat in peaceful silence for another minute, enjoying the evening view.

"Do you have family you need to contact? Parents?" Harvey asked.

I shook my head.

"Nope".

He wasn't going to ask me to elaborate, but I could feel his frustration, so I sighed and gave him something.

"My parents died when I was 3. Car crash. I live by myself in a small apartment, studying at Massey".

He looked at me, and I looked down. His gaze was so strong, it made me feel tiny.

"I see" he eventually said, returning his attention to his dinner. I was grateful that he didn't ask further. My past was not something I liked talking about. Nor was my entire life, really.

The rest of the evening passed quietly. We finished our dinner, and I found out he was a lawyer at Pearson Hardman. One of the Senior Partners even – hence the expensive apartment. Afterwards we watched some TV. Although most of the time I could feel him watching me, as if I were a bomb about to go off. I ignored him, trying to appear at ease as my body ached and my mind whirled in the fog it had become.

Eventually I stood up and stretched.

"I'm gonna go to bed" I said, yawning.

He nodded.

"I'm right down the hall if you need anything".

Just before I left the room, I turned back.

"Um, Harvey?"

He turned on the couch.

"Yea?"

"Thanks". I sounded silly, but I was sincere. And he knew it.

He nodded, smiling slowly, and I left the room before it got more awkward.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, I felt slightly more myself. There was a screaming in the back of my mind that I ignored while making myself breakfast. I focussed on the pain in my head and tummy instead. That, I could deal with.

The apartment was empty, and Harvey had left a note to say he was at work, and that he'd be back at 6 tonight.

After breakfast I showered, examining myself in the mirror while the water heated up. My stomach was black and blue, and there was still some dried blood down the side of my face. I looked a right mess. The water burned my bruised skin, but it was soothing. I stood under the torrent and let some more tears fall as I once again buried my vivid memories.

I managed to find my clothes – which had been washed and folded, and opened the front door to leave before pausing.

Suddenly, I was scared. My apartment was half an hour walk away, I had no money for a cab, and while I'd usually walk around town without a second thought, today I was terrified. I stood in the doorway, hyperventilating, before giving up and slamming it shut. I leant my back against the cold wood and slid to the floor, tears silently rolling down my cheeks.

 _Fuck Emma, you're a mess…_

Cold depression sank over me, and I suddenly wanted to do what I'd always done to cope.

I wanted to drink.

It didn't take me long to find Harvey's liquor cabinet. It was filled with expensive whiskeys and bourbons.

 _Huh, an 'on the rocks' guy._

I grabbed myself a crystal glass, and filled it to the top with a bourbon whose name I couldn't pronounce. My hands shook, and I felt guilty. But I needed it.

The first swig burned my throat. It was strong and sweet and numbing, my favourite thing. I moaned with relief as the first buzz of alcohol hit my throbbing head, and took the bottle with me to the couch, where I settled myself, turned the TV onto a random channel, and continued to drink my way into sweet oblivion.

…

I jumped as I heard a key turn in the lock, and looked around me desperately. The sun was setting, and I'd lost track of time after the first 3 glasses. The first bottle lay empty on the floor at me feet, and a second was nearing the bottom on the table next to me. I sat my glass down and jumped up in panic, and instantly the room swirled.

There wasn't time. I moved to stand in front of the couch, facing the door, leaning on the back of it for balance, and willed my head to stop spinning as the door opened.

Harvey entered, looking flash in a black business suit and tie. He smiled when he saw me, and placed his suitcase on the side table before reaching up to loosen his silver tie.

"Hey there. Sorry about leaving, but we're so close to a huge close and the client wanted me and... I hope you haven't been too bored here-" he stopped his approach when he saw the bottle to my left. I followed his gaze to the bottle, and then the second, and closed my eyes.

"Shit…" I mumbled, before opening my eyes and facing him, my heart racing as I waited for him to start shouting.

He came and picked up the empty bottle and looked at it, then back at me. I tried to hold his controlling gaze, but couldn't, and looked at my feet like a scolded child. He moved in front of me and held up the bottle, and I winced at his closeness, it was so strong and intimidating.

"This is how you cope?" he asked quietly, and I could hear anger boiling beneath his calm composure. I closed my eyes and nodded slowly, trying to ignore the sharp electric shocks he seemed to be giving me.

"I'm sorry…" I couldn't think of what to say.

Neither of us moved for a moment, but then he sighed and placed the bottle back on the table. In one quick movement, he scooped me up into his arms, moved around the couch and lowered us onto it. I gasped as he picked me up, but strangely felt safe in his large arms, my head rolling slightly in my drunken state. He leaned back, with me in his lap, and kept his arms wrapped around my shoulders as my head fell against his chest.

The closeness was unlike anything I had felt in sixteen long years, and I felt tears start to flow down my numb cheeks.

"It's okay" Harvey soothed me gently, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

At his words, the pain of years of loneliness unwillingly surfaced, and I sobbed against him. I turned my face into his chest and cried, my numb body heaving, and all the while he continued to hold me, murmuring gently into my hair.

After what seemed like hours, I finally ran out of tears. I sat up slightly, and Harvey silently handed me his handkerchief to wipe my face with. I looked up at him, this man who had so suddenly become the only person I have in this world, who was looking down at me, his brow furrowed in concern. His brown eyes were warm and sympathetic, all traces of the earlier anger gone, and he stroked my cheek with the back of his hand gently.

I closed my eyes at his touch, and reached upwards to wrap my arms around his neck.

Suddenly his lips were on mine. They were gentle and soft, and I breathed deeply, smelling his subtle cologne as his arms tightened around me. He kissed me a little harder, and my lips fell open, my drugged body collapsing at his touch. But he didn't explore my mouth. Instead, he took my bottom lip gently in his teeth, tugging slightly before releasing it and again pushing his lips softly against mine. He was so gentle, so careful with me. Yet suddenly I wanted more. An unfamiliar warmth came over me, different from the one I was used to alcohol giving me. This heat rushed through me, unstoppable as it set every nerve ending on fire. I swivelled my body to face him better, and pushed myself against him instinctively. I felt him smile against my lips, before he pulled away. I moaned quietly, the taste of him lingering in my mouth. This body that I was no longer in control of yearned for his touch in a way that made my inner voice blush.

I opened my eyes, and he was smiling down at me. The same gentle, yet brilliant smile that he always had, and I smiled shyly in return. My inner voice sung with a new, heated excitement, but I was confused, and the alcohol wasn't making it any easier to process.

Suddenly, the bourbon decided it wasn't happy in my stomach. My smile disappeared, and he saw my face pale. Quickly, he tipped me forwards just in time for me to throw up onto his lovely white carpet. He held my hair with one hand, and rubbed my back with the other as I retched violently.

When I was done, he wiped my mouth clean with his already ruined handkerchief, and lifted me up into his arms once again.

We were up off the couch now, and heading towards the bedroom.

"No" I protested sleepily.

"I'm fine. I'm good. Just put me down"

Harvey laughed at my slurred protest.

"Oh Emma, I don't think you could take yourself anywhere in this state! It appears you were no match for my expensive liquor. At least tell me you enjoyed the taste? That's two thousand dollars you drank out there".

I blushed in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry… Harvey… I'll buy you s'more" I slurred, and he laughed again. I was pissed that he was enjoying this. I hit him on the chest.

"Put me down! I said I'm fine!" I said sternly.

He frowned at me playfully when I hit him.

"Oh my. You are trouble. Alright then, have it your way"

He promptly set me on my feet and released me, and I grabbed the wall to stabilise myself. I took a deep breath.

 _Focus, Emma._

I started making my way towards the bedroom, aware of Harvey laughing loudly behind me. His laugh was so confident, he was always so sure of himself!

 _Bastard._

Eventually I made it to the room, and turned to stick my tongue out at him from the doorway.

"See? I'm fine!"

He laughed even harder, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Sure you are. That's why you're in the bathroom"

I looked behind me in horror. Sure enough, I was in the expansively tiled bathroom.

 _Fuck._

"That's because I want to take a shower!"

 _Yea, nice recovery._

I drunkenly pulled my t-shirt over my head, and slid my jeans to the floor, managing to step out of them without falling over. I stood in my underwear, smiling at him.

 _Jesus Christ Emma, what the fuck are you doing?_

My inner voice yelled at me as I stood exposed in the doorway. But drunk me was exploring, and wanted to see what would happen next.

He had stopped laughing now and was watching me, an animalistic hunger growing in his brown eyes as he rolled up his sleeves, exposing his forearms. He stalked down the hallway towards me, and a part of me wanted to run from this huge, domineering creature. But I stood still as he approached, my lungs halting and the smile slipping from my face as I felt myself shrink. He stopped in front of me, so close I could feel the heat coming off of him, and reached his hands up to cup my face gently, looking into my eyes. He was asking me for permission. And I wanted to give it.

 _Stop this! You're drunk, don't be stupid!_

The voice in my head was having none of this, and stomped her foot as his left hand moved down to my stomach. He brushed his fingertips over the horrible black bruises that covered my abdomen, and I followed his gaze down to the shocking mess. Suddenly embarrassed, I made to pull away, wrapping my arms around my stomach. Lightning quick, he grabbed my wrists and pulled them above my head. Holding them there gently with one hand as he lowered his other one back down to my stomach. I winced as he touched me, and couldn't meet his gaze, but he continued for a second longer, before releasing my hands and moving back to cup my face again.

"Look at me" he commanded.

This wasn't a voice I'd heard before. This wasn't Harvey. This was something more primal. And I couldn't refuse it. Even the voice in my head went into a stunned silence at his tone. I looked up to meet his eyes, which burned down into me with an intensity that made me squirm. He paused, and I could tell he wanted to say something more. But he decided against it.

Just as quickly as it had begun, he stopped it. His shoulders dropped, and he moved his hands from my face to my upper arms.

"C'mon. Let's get you cleaned up for bed" he said in his normal, gentle manner.

I blinked at his sudden change in temperament, feeling like I'd been slapped, but didn't press him. I was exhausted, after all.

 _And drunk…_

He took my hand and led me to the bathtub, which was too big for any person to justify having. He switched on the taps, before turning back to me. He looked me up and down, and my skin burnt under his gaze.

"Would you like my help?" It wasn't a sexual question. He'd returned to the Harvey I was more familiar with.

I turned to look at the cascading water, then pictured trying to undo my bra, and realised that I was really quite far gone. So I nodded, and he pushed his sleeves up a little higher as I turned around so he had access to my bra clasp. He undid it deftly, and pushed the straps down my arms, his fingertips leaving goose bumps on my skin as he did so. I let my bra fall to the floor, and paused before turning back around, feeling self-conscious. He didn't look. His eyes, although a shade darker, never left mine, and I felt myself breathing a little easier. He reached to my waist and hooked his fingers into my panties. Then, squatting down, he pulled them to my ankles. His eyes fixed on the floor, he let me rest my hands on his broad shoulders for balance as I stepped out of them.

I now stood before him, drunk, naked and anxious. But Harvey was calm and at ease as he turned his attention back to the bath, and I started to relax as he turned the water off and tested the temperature with his hand.

"That feels good. Let me know if you want it hotter" he said, offering his arms for support as he lowered me into the bathtub. His forearms were sculpted and smooth under my hands, and I felt both comforted and... something _else._ I sighed heavily as I sank into the water, and it seemed to wash off the weight that had been clinging to my shoulders. Closing my eyes, I leaned back into the headrest, allowing the water to cover my whole body as I enjoyed my drunken numbness.

I felt Harvey kneel beside the bath.

"I would offer to leave you alone, little one, but you're well drunk. I think I better stay here and keep an eye on you".

"Mhhmm" I nodded slightly. Even as he said it, I could feel my drunken stupor trying to pull me into darkness. The water lapped around my neck, and I was grateful that the alcohol was keeping my mind foggy as the torn muscles in my stomach ached slightly in the hot water.

 _This feels so, so good…_


	4. Chapter 4

I was woken by a pot clanging the next morning, and I crawled groggily out of bed. I was in a white shirt, one of Harvey's, and I couldn't help but laugh at how expensive the plain thing looked and felt.

 _Probably more than my tuition._

It hung down to my knees, and I made my way out to the kitchen looking like an elf.

Harvey was dressed in a grey t-shirt and jeans behind the counter, cooking, and laughed when I entered the room.

"Morning! How's your hangover?"

I smiled at his ease. He was so confident in everything he did, it was impossible not to believe him and copy every emotion.

"I'm fine, my body's used to it".

He looked at me pointedly, one eyebrow raised, and I looked away, my smile disappearing.

"Come on, I've got eggs and bacon ready for you" Harvey said lightly as he tipped some bacon rashers onto a plate.

I pulled myself up onto a stool.

"No work today?" I asked.

"Nah, I told Jessica I had something to sort. For the sake of my liquor cabinet more than anything".

I blushed.

"Yea uh… I'm… I'm sorry about that".

He moved around the island and sat a piled up plate in front of me.

"It's cool. But oh boy, if you were mine…" he glanced at me and trailed off, suddenly looking awkward.

 _Harvey? Looking awkward?_

"What?" I demanded of him as I tucked into my breakfast.

"It's uh…" he shook his head, chuckling at himself as he skewered some bacon.

I glared at him. I wasn't going to let this go, and he knew it.

"I um… I was at The Red for a reason the other night" he said, finally meeting my eyes.

 _Oh. I'd forgotten. That night…_

I nodded, and scooped another mouthful of eggs into my mouth so I didn't have to talk.

We ate in silence for a minute, and I could feel Harvey's concern. He was worried that he'd upset me by bringing up that night. I cleared my throat.

"I um… I was there for a reason too" I said quietly, staring at my bacon. I felt him look at me, and dared to meet his gaze. It was open and kind as he watched me curiously.

 _Dangerous water, Emma…_

The voice in my head was warning my sternly, but I ignored her, as always.

"So do you currently have ay… ah… sub?"

"No. Not for a year now"

"Oh?"

"We ended on good terms. She wanted more, and I wasn't willing to give it to her"

"Oh"

We both ate some more, but I could tell he was curious as to why I'd shown up that night myself.

 _That night…_

I shook my head to clear it of bad memories.

"I've never done… it. Like, at all" I started carefully.

"But you want to?"

I blushed.

"Yea"

He nodded at that, and we both relaxed a bit as anxiety gave way to curiosity.

"I was coming to meet you"

"I know"

"But you ran…"

"I know" I sighed. It all seemed so stupid now.

"So you've never…?" He let the question hang in the air.

"Nope"

"Huh…" he was thinking. I let him in silence, and got up to clean my plate.

After putting my dishes in the dishwasher, I made to head back to the bedroom.

"Thanks for breakfast, Harvey. I'm gonna go have a shower, if that's alright?"

He nodded as he finished off the last of his eggs, and I made my way into the bathroom.

 _Jesus, this guy had money._

I took my time taking in the expansive bathroom properly for the first time. It was black and white, like the rest of his apartment, and was much larger than one man needed.

I'd brought my previously neglected phone in with me, and I ignored the notifications, setting it to play my favourite playlist as I undressed.

I danced my way through a shower, taking time to scrub myself down and wash my hair. I inspected my tummy as I washed. The bruises were still there, but were fading to yellow around the edges. I had a lump on the side of my head still, but it was mostly invisible under my hair, and I reminded myself that Bradley was coming to take the stitches out tomorrow.

Waiting for my favourite song to finish, I then reluctantly left the hot steam and towelled myself dry. I smelt like Harvey, and it was comforting. I had no desire to return to my crappy apartment, but realised with a wave of depression that Harvey wouldn't let me stay forever. I'd ignored my life for long enough, and it was time to wake up and go face the depressing reality.

I got dressed into the same clothes as yesterday. I'd have to go home whether I liked it or not.

Harvey was reading a book when I returned to the lounge, frowning slightly in concentration, clearly immersed completely in the story. He hadn't noticed my entrance, and I took a few seconds to take him in.

He was truly gorgeous. His short hair was perfectly styled as always, slightly pulled up at the front, and every feature on his face was sharp and masculine. Beneath his t-shirt, it was easy to see that his chest and back were well-defined, and his biceps looked too big in the sleeves. He licked his thin lips slightly as he adjusted his position on the couch.

 _Those lips…_

I cleared my throat to bring myself back to the present, and he looked up at me, smiling.

"Good shower?" he asked.

"Yea, thanks" I hesitated, not wanting to talk about me leaving. He continued to watch me, calmly allowing me to focus before speaking again.

"I uh… I wanted to thank you for… for everything" I stuttered. I sounded awkward and tense, but only because I could feel panic oncoming.

 _I don't want to leave._

He placed his book aside and rose from the couch fluidly. Approaching me, he confidently stepped into my personal space as I stared at the carpet, fighting to keep my breath steady. As he'd done the night before, he reached up to cup my cheeks gently, forcing me to look up at him.

"You sound like you're about to leave" he said, his perfect eyebrows knitting once more as he watched me.

"I uh… well I can't exactly stay forever… and I've been eating all your food and using your water and…" I trailed off into a useless list as I tried hopelessly to convince the both of us that it would be better if I left.

"Emma". He said my name sharply, as I imagined he would speak to his clients at work. I paused, my mouth still open slightly, and he moved his hands from my cheeks to take my hand. Finally breaking eye contact, he turned and led me over to the couch, gesturing for me to sit.

I lowered myself onto the plush cushion as he did the same beside me. He looked down for a moment, carefully structuring his next words as I waited.

"I don't think you should be left alone at the moment. Not until you… until you recognise what happened the other night. You can't just go on ignoring it and pretend everything's fine, Emma. I know you'd like to but you can't".

He finally looked at me as he finished, and I blinked, tears threatening in the corners of my eyes.

 _He's right, we need to talk about this._

My jaw was locked as I struggled to come up with a reply. Eventually I sighed, letting my shoulders sag slightly as I turned to brace my elbows on my knees, burying my face in my hands.

"I know" was all I could squeak out.

I felt Harvey relax slightly beside me.

"Would you… like me to call someone? For you to talk to?" He sounded uncertain, and I shook my head.

"No, I just… I know what happened. I do. And I am processing it. I just… need time" I managed to stutter out.

Harvey reached out and pulled me into his arms, and I sighed against him as the tight pain around my heart started to lessen.

Bradley arrived a few hours later, and I felt like I was in autopilot mode as I answered his questions.

He made small talk with Harvey as he deftly removed my stitches, the two of them allowing me to lie in silence as, piece by piece, I started to allow memories from the other night back into my head. Now that I'd had a few days, they were less fresh. The pain was duller, the sounds quieter, and everything moved a little slower. By the time Bradley had finished, I was cradling a cup of hot coffee, and thanked him before Harvey walked him to the door.

Harvey returned to sit beside me, and cautiously rested a hand on my knee. I closed my eyes at his touch. I'd never get used to the way it both shocked and calmed me at the same time.

I turned to look at him feeling more normal than I had in days.

"I need to go to my apartment to pick up some things, if you'll let me stay a while longer?"

He smiled, "of course. I'll call Taylor round".

"Taylor?"

He chuckled, "my driver"

My eyes flew to the ceiling.

 _Of course he has a driver._

When I looked back at him, he looked slightly pissed off.

"What?" I asked, a little nervous.

He hesitated before answering.

"I've never had a girl sass me like that before and get away with it" he said quietly.

"Oh" my mouth hung open slightly.

"Yea"

A charged silence hung between us briefly, before Harvey rose to call Taylor.

I enjoyed the rest of my coffee, and my ear pricked up when I overheard him on the phone.

"… yea, bring the R8, I'll drive. I feel like a little fun today".

 _No. Fucking. Way._

He turned to face me after hanging up, and looked shocked at my expression.

"You have an Audi R8?" I asked, my voice a high squeak.

He grinned as he returned to the couch.

"I do, cost me a small fortune. Well worth it though, she's my baby!"

I leapt off the couch with such enthusiasm I'm sure I saw him jump beside me.

"Oh my god, I can't believe… wow… I mean… far out" I rambled incoherently as I rinsed out my coffee cup and sat it on the side bench.

Harvey watched me bounce around the kitchen, the grin never leaving his face.

When we finally made it to the garage, the matte black beast was silently idling in front of us. A tough looking man in a suit, Taylor, handed the key to Harvey, who opened the passenger door and turned to look at me expectantly.

I inhaled deeply as I slid into the leather seat, ignoring the dull ache in my stomach as I committed the leather and petrol smell to memory. Harvey made his way round to the driver's side and watched me for a moment as, for once, my ordeal wasn't the first thing on my mind.

"I hate to interrupt", he said finally, "but I need your address".

I told him the number of my apartment as I examined the dashboard, studying all the buttons and dials.

I was interrupted by a low growl beneath me, and my hands moved to grip either side of my bucked seat tightly as we pulled out into the city's streets.

Harvey indulged me by being over-zealous on the accelerator, and laughing at my reactions. I felt like a four year old at Disney world, and was reluctant to leave the gorgeous interior of the car when we finally pulled up outside my apartment block.

I prayed I hadn't left the place too messy as I unlocked the door, suddenly self-conscious as I let Harvey into the tiny lounge.

I had very little personal belonging so the place hardly looked inhabited. The only sign of life was my poor laptop, which was blinking furiously to let me know of its dying battery.

I turned to face Harvey, who looked intrigued by everything.

"So uh… yea. This is home" I said awkwardly.

Harvey moved to sit on my bed, and stroked the quilt quietly for a second before looking at me.

"Emma, I was thinking. If you want to, you could… um… move in with me?" Harvey asked, sounding unusually unsure of himself.

I just looked at him blankly as I processed what he was offering me. He continued to ramble.

"I mean, you don't have to, this place is nice, but I just thought, it's been nice having someone else around, and, well, I think it would be, you know… cool"

I burst into laughter when he finished, and he looked up at me in embarrassment. I moved to sit beside him.

"Harvey, I think that the two of us living together would be extremely cool" I snorted as I repeated his phrase.

"But are you sure? I mean, we barely know each other, and I'm not exactly in an amazing place right now… and-"

I was cut off by Harvey pressing his lips to mine. They were sudden and soft, and I gasped at the contact. We both hesitated for a moment, before a red hot flame moved up my spine, putting my limbs into action. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tipped my head slightly to the side, allowing him better access. At my invitation, he placed his hands at my waist, and ran them slowly down to my hips, which bucked at his touch. His mouth opened against mine, his tongue tentatively exploring mine as we inhaled each other's scent.

The fire suddenly consumed us both in a rush of primal need, and I pulled myself up against him. Harvey groaned deliciously at my movement, and moved quickly. Suddenly, I was on my back, Harvey on his knees over me, holding my wrists above my head with one hand. He had slipped his other hand under my top, and his fingertips traced circles on my skin above my hip, leaving searing marks behind them. Breaking the kiss for breath, he moved to my neck, where soft kisses turned to bites as I writhed beneath him, unable to control my body as I jerked my arms against his hold, gasping and moaning in the same breaths.

His movements slowed all of a sudden. As I lost control, he seemed to regain it. His fingers slowed their pace over my skin, and his tongue moved down my neck so _fucking_ slowly. The burning heat running through me was becoming unbearable, and I hissed, lifting my knees up, bucking my hips and wrestling my arms in a vain attempt to free myself from his torture.

Without moving his face from my neck, he growled.

It was a deep, distinctive growl, and it made me freeze. It was a growl of pleasure, but also a threat, a warning, and it made my joints lock.

The warmth flowing through me turned ice cold, and I started gasping – in fear this time.

I was aware of Harvey removing his hand from under my top, and lifting his head to look at me, but all I could see was a darkness clouding the edges of my vision, turning to rain and concrete. The fire in my nerves turned to pain and cold and numbness, and I sobbed as I heard _his_ voice in my ear.

I moved to struggle, but Harvey was already off of me. He stood a few steps back from the bed, his hair ruffled and his shirt moving over his still heaving chest. The look on his face was one of sheer horror as he watched me fall into a panic attack before his eyes.

I didn't want him to run, to leave me. I couldn't be alone.

 _Not again._

"Harvey, please" I gasped between sobs as my hands grasped the quilt beneath me for stability.

"Please, don't leave me. Please… I can't…" I dissolved into tears as the other night played through my head on repeat.

As my breath was torn from my body, I was vaguely aware of strong arms wrapped around me, gentle whispers in my ear.

When it was finally over, I blinked to clear my eyes.

I was curled in a fetal position, kept upright only by Harvey's strong arms, which were encasing me against him. As my breathing calmed, I could make out his whispers.

"I'm sorry, Emma. I'm so, so sorry…" over and over again, each time filled with more self-loathing as he rocked me back and forth.

Finally, I lifted myself upright and turned to look at Harvey.

He met my gaze with an expression I never expected Harvey Specter to wear. It was concern, fear and self-loathing all in one. This was something he'd never dealt with before, and he didn't know what to do.

"Harvey…" I croaked out. I didn't know how to tell him that it wasn't his fault. None of this was, and yet he seemed to be shouldering the blame for it all.

He closed his eyes as I said his name, and when he opened them again it seemed he had regained himself.

Just like that, the Harvey I was used to was back.

"Are you okay?" he asked carefully.

I nodded.

"Do you want me to leave?"

I shook my head.

"No, you're… you're all I have left" I squeaked.

He nodded, understanding, and the two of us turned our minds to packing my stuff.

Barely a word was spoken. On the way back it started to rain, and I closed my eyes, listening to the purr of the engine and the rain pattering against the windscreen.


	5. Chapter 5

Barely a word was spoken. On the way back it started to rain, and I closed my eyes, listening to the purr of the engine and the rain pattering against the windscreen.

When we were back in the lavish apartment I'd already come to feel comfortable in, Harvey helped me carry my bags to the room I had been occupying.

"I'll uh… I'll leave you to unpack" he said in monotone, looking at the floor.

I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He froze momentarily, before returning the hug. I sighed at the comfort it brought me.

"Thank you, for this" I said as we finally broke apart.

He sighed. "Emma…"

"Harvey". I interrupted him. His brow furrowed ever so slightly, but he let me continue.

"I'm sorry about earlier. It wasn't your fault. It's no one's fault. They just happen. I want you to know that".

I looked at him carefully, trying to get my point across.

He nodded, and his shoulders sagged a little less as he left me to unpack.

….

When I entered the kitchen, he was halfway through cooking dinner. I took a deep breath as I seated myself at the island bench.

"Smells amazing" I said cheerfully, in an attempt to break the tense air.

He smiled up at me from the stove, and I breathed a sigh of relief. He seemed much happier now.

I thought about waiting to speak to him until after dinner. I'd planned it all out as I'd unpacked, but I was still nervous as hell. I decided to get it over and done with.

 _Buck up, Emma._

I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath.

"Harvey?" I sounded confident.

 _Good. Keep going._

"Mhhmm?" he answered without looking up as he carefully stirred cream into the pan.

"I uh… I was thinking… I mean, it's just an idea… ". Harvey was still immersed in his stirring as I spoke.

 _Come on, Emma. Just say it._

I took another breath.

"I thought I could be your… sub"

 _Great, that came out way more bluntly than it was supposed to._

There was a clang as Harvey dropped the spoon he'd been tasting the dish with. I struggled to hide a snicker.

 _I made Harvey Specter drop something? Do I get a medal for that?_

He looked up at me in shock as he wiped his hands on a dishcloth.

"You… you want to be my submissive?" he asked finally.

I nodded.

"After… even after what happened today?"

I nodded again, letting him process.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

 _Right, here comes the reasoning._

I knitted my hands in my lap and forced myself to hold eye contact as I spoke.

"When… today… happened. It was nice to have someone there. I usually go through panic attacks alone, and it's not… easy. The reason I wanted to be a sub in the first place is because I thought having someone take charge like that would help me to… live, a little easier. I mean, you don't have to, it was just an idea…"

 _Great, now we're rambling._

I trailed off, watching Harvey as he listened. He had his composed face on, and I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Finally, he spoke.

"Emma. I um… I would like that. Very much. But I don't… I'm not quite sure you know what you're getting into. There's so much you don't know…"

He trailed off as he continued to think it through, and I bit my tongue to stop myself from interrupting him.

"But… I guess… if you really want to try and learn… then I'm definitely keen to try. I just don't want to… hurt you. Like earlier. If it happened during a scene I couldn't…" Harvey sighed before meeting my gaze.

I finally let myself speak.

"What happened before wasn't your fault, Harvey. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I really, really want to give this a shot".

He could see the determination on my face, and finally he nodded. My heart did a little summersault.

"Okay. But there's things we need to sort through. Like boundaries and safewords and…"

Harvey was back in his element now, but I couldn't listen. There was too much whizzing around in my head. I was nervous, excited, and scared shitless all at once. I'd done my reading – tons of it – but I knew that nothing could prepare me for what I'd just dove into head first.

But it would be okay, because I had Harvey.

A grin spread slowly across my face, and Harvey placed the tongs in his hand down. Briefly wiping his hands, he moved around to where I was sitting and cupped my face. I sighed at his touch as he ran a thumb across my cheek. He smiled.

"You have no idea how badly I've wanted this" he said.

"Since I first laid eyes on you I knew. I needed to have you as mine".

His words turned into almost a growl, and my inner voice purred happily as he referred to me as 'his'.

We talked logistics as Harvey served up dinner. I'd read enough stories to know what was important, but the way he spoke about it all, with such ease and knowledge, it intimidated me.

"So, safeword?" he asked me casually as we tucked into the creamy pasta dish.

"How about we use the green, yellow, red system?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow, impressed, and nodded. I hid a grin.

"Sure. I don't suppose you know your limits at all?"

I flushed.

"I uh… I'm willing to try just about anything. But um… no needles, or blood. I can't do that".

He nodded.

"I understand. What about breath play?" When I blinked, he continued.

"It's not everyone's thing, of course, and it can be dangerous, especially if you don't know what you're doing".

"But you do?"

He winked at me across the table.

"Of course".

My mouth formed a little 'o' shape, and a warmth from deep in my stomach resonated outwards through me.

This was Harvey, in his element. And I was completely lost already.

 _Dear god, what have you gotten yourself into?_

He noticed my nervousness.

 _Of course he did. Harvey notices everything._

"It's okay. We'll go as slow as you need. I promise" he said soothingly, carefully watching me.

I nodded, and turned my attention to my dinner while I tried to process the mixture of fear and excitement that was flooding my veins.

After dinner, we watched some TV. I leant against Harvey on the couch, and he wrapped his arms around me. My shirt had pulled up slightly, and every now and then his thumb gently rubbed back and forth over the exposed skin. And every time, my breathing stopped.

He knew it too, and he loved it.

 _Pull yourself together girl, this is getting embarrassing._

After a while neither of us could take it any longer, and Harvey coached me to my feet.

"Are you tired? Because if not…" he trailed off, and I swallowed before answering.

"I want to start tonight. Now" I said, sounding way less confident than I had meant to.

He smiled, before taking my hand and leading me to his bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

I'd never been in Harvey's room before, and I took a moment to look around as we entered it. It was as clean and ordered as the rest of the house. The bed was a four-poster made of darkened wood, and decorated with too many white and black pillows, as well as a mink black bedspread. There was a huge TV attached to the wall opposite the bed, and two doors on the right wall – an ensuite and wardrobe was my guess. To the left of the bed was a large chest of drawers, the same dark wood as the bed.

 _What, was the walk-in-wardrobe not big enough?_

I turned to face Harvey, who had been watching me closely since we entered the room.

"It's… nice" was all I could come up with as my brain spun in circles.

He laughed, before pulling me gently over to the bed. Turning me to face him, he pushed me gently until I was sitting on the bottom edge of the four-poster, which felt extremely squishy beneath me.

Now my brave pretences were starting to fail me. I was well out of my element, and was sure I could feel the whole bed shaking as I did. Harvey stood over me, and I watched curiously as he transformed in front of my eyes.

He'd always been strong and in control, but now he was different. He was something more. His shoulders squared, his muscles tightened and his gaze hardened.

He reached out to cup my cheek with a hand, and I jumped.

 _Damn you, traitorous body._

"Emma. We don't have to do this. If you're not ready…"

"No" I said sternly.

"I mean, I'm nervous, sure. But I can do this. I _want_ to do this".

Harvey smiled, and I watched as his gentle smile suddenly transformed into something more primal, more like a smirk.

"Okay then. Remember your safewords, little girl?"

I frowned.

' _Little girl'?_

"I'm not your-"

My words were cut off by a gasp as Harvey pushed my shoulders, and suddenly I was on my back, feeling small against the deliciously soft mink blanket.

"What was that, Emma? I didn't catch the end" Harvey teased.

The corner of his mouth was pulled up in a delectable smirk that only Harvey could manage, and suddenly my panting wasn't only from nerves.

"I uh... nevermind" I said breathlessly.

Harvey chuckled, a sound that sent waves of heat rolling through me, and pulled his shirt over his head.

 _Fuck me, he's perfect._

Every line of his torso was perfect. Every shadow, every rise and fall in the pattern of his muscles – perfect.

He reached forward and lifted the bottom of my shirt, and I was suddenly self-conscious. I blushed as he pulled it over my head, revealing my plain black bra beneath.

But however I felt about my body, Harvey sure didn't agree with me.

His eyes widened, and a transfixed state came over him as he moved his hands. He traced from the line of my jeans upwards towards my shoulders, leaving both goosebumps and searing hot trails as he did so. My stomach and chest fluctuated with my ragged breaths, but he didn't miss a beat, carefully memorising my torso as I melted under his touch.

My bra had a clasp on the front, and Harvey's fingers hovered above it as he looked at me. There was an immense heat in his gaze, and I could tell he was holding himself back hugely.

This wasn't what Harvey Specter was used to. Harvey Specter was used to taking what he wanted, and be damned if he had to wait for permission.

This was the complete opposite of what Harvey Specter was used to.

But he was doing it – for me.

And in that moment, I loved him for it.

I nodded frantically, and he deftly undid the clasp, letting my bra fall off my shoulders and brushing it to the floor.

My breasts were perked from excitement and fear, and he ran his hands over them so gently it may have been my imagination had I not been watching him. His thumbs flicked over my nipples, and I gasped as it sent sensations spiking to every nerve in my body.

His fingers traced their way back down to my jeans, and I moaned slightly as his fingers grazed my hip bones. He fingers paused at the sound and he closed his eyes briefly.

"Fuck, Emma. You're killing me" he growled. His voice was low and full of hot lust, and it turned me on even more.

My hips arched against his hands impatiently as he undid my jeans, and he suddenly grabbed my hips, pressing them into the bed as he leant over me. His grip was tight, and I felt small as I met his gaze.

"Don't move, Emma. I'm telling you now. There won't be a second chance" he threatened with a smirk.

I closed my eyes as his voice sent sparks of electricity from my fingers to the pit of my stomach, and tried my very best to contain my lusting body as he continued to undo my jeans.

He pulled them down my legs slowly, exposing me bit by bit, until I was just in my black underwear in front of him, my hands forming fists in the blankets as I attempted to follow his instructions.

In one fluid movement, Harvey was on his knees on top of me. He pinned my wrists above my head and lowered his face inches to mine. For a second, his eyes were clear. Asking me, yet again, if I was okay with this.

 _Fuck, was I ever!_

Then he finally, _finally,_ pressed his lips to mine.

I sighed with release as he kissed me. His tongue coaxed my mouth open, and he bit gently on my lower lip as I gasped against him.

I tried, pathetically, to keep my body still as commanded. But it wasn't long before my hips arched up, desperate for friction, and my wrists fought against his as I wriggled beneath him.

Sharply, Harvey broke the kiss, hopping off of me.

"No…" I moaned in desperation, and he laughed.

"What did I say, Emma?" he asked mischievously.

I threw my head back and groaned in exasperation.

"I know, you said keep still. But how do you expect me to do that when-"

I broke off as Harvey opened a draw of the chest beside the bed. He pulled out what I recognised to be some black leather cuffs. Four.

He returned to the bed and deftly attached one each to my wrists, before moving to my ankles. On his command, I shuffled backwards up the bed until I was in the middle of it, where he reached my limbs out and clicked each one to a corner of the four poster.

Now I was naked, but for my undies, and spread-eagled across Harvey's bed.

My chest heaved, and my body shook softly as he stood over me, surveying me closely.

"I told you, Emma. I gave you fair warning, didn't I?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, not wanting to speak in case I got myself into further trouble.

Harvey returned to the chest, and held a leather strap with a ball in the middle over my face.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked.

I nodded again.

"You're going to wear this for me, sweetheart. I've a feeling you won't be too quiet, and I don't want the neighbours complaining" he explained as he placed the ball carefully in my mouth and did up the strap.

He placed a shiny little bell in my left hand, and looked at me sternly.

"This is your safety bell. You want to stop, for _any_ reason, you ring this, okay?"

I nodded, and gave the bell a little shake to test. It jingled sharply in my hand, and I nodded at Harvey again. I was ready.

He smiled.

"Good girl".

Those two words sent waves of such complete pleasure through me I thought I'd collapse from the bliss.

Harvey saw the effect they had on me, and reached to stroke my cheek gently, smiling as I regained myself.

"I told you not to move" he said, stern again as he turned to the chest.

"But you just couldn't follow that simple order" he teased, "what a naughty girl".

He let the last words drip out into the warm air, and I felt goosebumps rise all over my body. As well as a dull throbbing down _there_.

Harvey turned back to face me, with a cat-o-nine tails in his hand.

"Do you know what this is, Emma?" he asked.

When I nodded, he smiled and continued.

"I'm going to hit you three times with this, across your stomach. Because you disobeyed orders. Does that sound fair to you?"

Not entirely in a position to argue, I nodded again.

"Good" Harvey smirked at me, before reaching over and drawing the whip across my belly ever-so-slowly.

I didn't know whether to flinch or moan from the feel of the cold leather tickling my sensitive skin, and settled for panting desperately instead as he moved the whip up and over my breasts.

The whip disappeared, and I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the impact. Would it hurt? Badly? Would it feel good?

The sharp sting echoed across my stomach, and I cried out against the gag. My wrists jerked against their restraints, and I lay panting as the burning heat flowed down to the space between my legs.

 _That felt… amazing._

Harvey was suddenly leant over me, his hand running through my hair, his eyes searching mine for any sign of fear.

But there was none, I was liking this.

 _I was loving it._

I closed my eyes and moaned again as these new sensations threatened to overwhelm me, and Harvey smiled, pleased with the effect he was having as he stood back upright.

The second strike hurt worse, and the third one followed closely after that. I groaned in pain, which quickly faded into pleasure, and suddenly the ball gag was being removed from my mouth.

"Was that okay, Emma? Are you alright?" Harvey asked carefully as he lifted my head, allowing me to gasp properly as my head cleared slightly.

"Yes. Yes oh my god yes" I panted, and he smirked, pleased with himself.

"We're not done yet, little girl. I haven't tasted you yet, or felt you…" he mused quietly, and I felt my cheeks grow red.

Harvey moved to the end of the bed, and leant forward so his head was above my mound. I panted as I felt

his breath through the fabric, suddenly realising that I was extremely wet.

Harvey noticed, too, and quickly reached to tear the fabric in two down the middle, exposing my shaved

pussy. I gasped at the ferocity of it, and he moaned both at my reaction and the sight of me laid out before him.

"Fuck, Emma. You're fucking gorgeous" he groaned, running his fingertips down the surface of my opening.

I moaned deliriously, struggling against my restraints in a desperate need to touch him, to feel him against

me.

"Please…" I begged helplessly, desperate for release. He laughed at my pleas, before dipping his head to wrap his tongue around my clit.

I let out a gasp, which deteriorated into a loud cry as Harvey worked with my body like nothing I'd ever even imagined. He knew it better than I did, and he was playing me like an instrument.

His tongue worked me slowly and steadily, building me closer to the edge every second. He reached one hand up to caress my breast, teasing the nipple slightly. He pinched it, and I cried out again, and felt him laugh against me.

Suddenly he had two fingers inside me as well, working in circular motions up against my g-spot.

I wanted – no, _needed_ – to come, and I begged him. Fuck, did I beg him.

But he wouldn't speed up his pace. He just relentlessly pulled me closer to the edge, slowly and steadily, pulling every inch of my body towards an ocean of bliss as I turned into a thrashing mess beneath his touch. I forgot about my ties, and wrestled furiously as the unbearable pleasure turned me into a wild animal. I cried out and bucked like I was being poked with a cattle prod, but still Harvey didn't budge. He simply stayed his motions until I lay still, before starting the torturous climb all over again.

Tears started to fall as the pleasure and emotion tore me to shreds. This was what he'd wanted, I realised. For me to break in front of him. And so I did. I sobbed and cried out and struggled as he pulled me down the final stretch to the finish line.

He lifted his head to watch me as he finally let me come.

"That's it baby, come for me now. Let go, that's it" he coaxed softly.

At his words, I finally fell over the edge. My cries echoed within the room as, guided by his fingers, I dropped into a pool of deep, throbbing pleasure. Fireworks flashed behind my eyelids as my vision blacked out, and my wrists and ankles burned as my body writhed against the restraints in complete, wild release.


End file.
